17 years...

Yesterday marked 17 years since Lynn has passed. I grew up with Lynn, I can't remember a time without her in my life until that day 17 years ago. She was like a sister to me, we fought like sisters an loved eachother like sisters. I remember her guinea pig and her barber shop playdough set. I remember her asthma and her machine. I remember her thumb sucking. I remember her love for life and the Lord. I remember the day we went to the hospital and saw her laying there with machines hooked up to her, keeping her alive. I remember her grandmother had her picture and she said she knew how hard it was for me to see her like and that's why she had the picture there, as a reminder of who she is. I never knew death before this, I have never lost anyone before and haven't lost anyone that close since. I think of her often and wonder who she would be now, what she would name her children and if they would be at my house playing with us this very minute.

The day before the burial I had a dream. I was at camp, where I had been when Lynn had her asthma attack, and was walking down the path and there she was waiting for me. I was shocked, I knew she was gone. I asked her what she was doing here. She replied with something bizarre like they needed her arm. But that night, before I had to watch my best friends body be placed into the ground she said goodbye and she told me it was ok. There was a certain peace about the whole thing, I no longer feared for her.

I will never forget the day of her funeral. Lynn was in the Drum and Bugle Corp. and the band was there, playing Taps in the backround. They handed her mother her team jacket and that's when everyone lost it. Her sister dropped to her knees sobbing. There must've been hundreds of people of all ages there saying goodbye. They say only the good die young, it was all to true with Lynn.

I think about her often, wondering...