One year ago I gave birth to my youngest son. His first week of life was filled with ups and downs. I thought one night that we had lost him. As I rounded the corner to the nursery to nurse my son who was hooked up to machines, a nurse basically threw me back in my room. I caught a glimpse of every nurse surrounding my baby, calling for the doctor “NOW”. The nurse who did the “throwing” approached me later and said she couldn’t let me see my son like that, I am so thankful for her quick reactions. An ambulance trip to a hospital better equipped for our Vinnie resulted in me coming home with no baby, my arms and heart felt so empty and hopeless. Two days later a blood test confirmed Down syndrome, the only description I have been able to relate to is when you are in grade school playing dodge ball and someone catches you not paying attention and you get nailed with the ball right in the gut. But life goes on and I learned that nothing could ever compare to having my two boys in my life, that sting eventually fades away. Because of Vinnie I have so many new people and experiences in my life. I have a whole new “family”. I appreciate the smallest things with such enormous joy that happy tears flow so often, a smile, a laugh, rolling over, grasping, sitting unassisted, crawling, getting into a sitting position. I have my moments of doubt and why me, I guess it’s my job as a mother. One year ago I knew my life would NEVER be the same and it isn‘t, it‘s so much more. So today I am celebrating my sons first birthday, an anniversary of a new found family and a new outlook on what life is truly about. Happy birthday my sweet angel.